How babies get born in cars

Alright, water broke at 12:30am, this is number 3 -- baby #1 was born 24 hours after water breaking, baby #2 was 12. My dad came over to watch the boys and my wife wanted to wait a while since contractions were still 7-9 minutes apart. (They say to go in once they are 5 minutes apart).  She was sitting on the couch and all the sudden she had a contraction that was a lot more intense.  We decided we had better get going. I got my wife painfully out to the car. She sat down, and said "I need to push now." I checked it out and baby's head was crowning! We're 3.5 minutes from the hospital but .. it was time. I turned around to tell my dad to call 911, he called and he was handing me some towels and I turned back around and my wife was holding the beautiful baby girl in her arms.  Time stopped... my wife said later she wishes she had a camera to capture my dad and my faces.  And then time started again.  I'm pretty sure I jumped up and down and cheered, but then I realized, you know, that I was standing on the curb outside the house, it was 2:20 AM, and the fact my wife just delivered her own baby!  Dude..... That is awesome!  At that point I went on autopilot.  I wrapped her up in some towels.  Baby was doing fine like it was no big deal.  She was squeaking a little and trying to suck her thumb.  My normally cool as ice dad (he has worked in emergency situations for 35 years) was asking me my address to tell 911, and I told him slowly and calmly but he kept screwing up the numbers, badly. I figured I needed to go.  I shut the car door, jumped in, and drove to the hospital. Dispatch called me on the way and everything was ready when we arrived. Got there and the first ER guy told me congratulations and asked me if I already cut the umbilical cord.... uh yeah pal, while I was driving with a pliers? ER folks were calm like, it aint no thang, I guess they are used to stuff like this.  They got my wife and baby on a gurney.  Got up to labor and delivery and both momma and baby were perfectly healthy. In fact, my wife needed no stitches and baby was nursing right away. So thanks be to God for everyone healthy! Maybe next time we'll try to deliver while skydiving!

A properly harnessed Chuck Norris Mrs. Badger roundhouse kick, can power a large city forever.

The womb is only fun for so long.