Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.—————————————Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you .—————————————Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help .—————————————Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.—————————————For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs .—————————————Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.—————————————Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.—————————————A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
And that reminded me of a recent email a friend forwarded me, on kids' responses to questions about the old and new testaments. The following statements about the Bible were written by children. Incorrect spelling has been left in.
1. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree . Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah.6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.7. Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.9. The first commandments was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of geritol.12. The greatest miricle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.13. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar he fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.14. Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.15. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the magna carta.16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.20. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.21. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.22. The epistles were the wives of the Apostles.23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marraige.25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
- Virginia
No comments:
Post a Comment