I am friends with two married couples who met by way of an online dating site and will be attending a wedding in a month for another couple who met the same way.
By way of comparison, I have 7 weddings this summer... and the other 6 couples met the "old-fashioned way."
Anecdotally speaking, things to consider (or things I am considering):
- A friend quit an online dating site after a one-eyed man messaged her, telling her they would make beautiful babies together;
- Another friend quit an online dating site when a man with a Mickey Mouse obsession wouldn't leave her alone;
- Read Wanted: Good Men by Janet Smith;
- Read "Stop hanging out with women and start dating them" from the Art of Manliness blog (can I get an AMEN?);
- For those considering online dating, or who already are, or for people who comment here at the BC: Tips for not appearing crazy on the Internet;
- Should members of either sex disable their profile (ie, delete it) when they get married? [Please say yes]. Then, should members of either sex disable their profile or update it upon being in a committed relationship?
There is the obvious point that you will encounter the above situations with wacky people in everyday life. And online dating is pretty main-streamed at this point. I've written before that it seems increasingly difficult to meet like-minded people. And there are more than enough "Where have all the good women gone?" articles to combat the "Where have all the good men gone?" articles that I'm fond of:)
When you put like-minded people in a single spot (online dating sites geared to Catholics, for example), the likelihood that some of them will hit it off is higher. And the likelihood also exists that some of those people will have a bad experience (ahem) and disengage.
Sidenote: I found this graph/article on how Facebook interacts with relationships interesting.
Discuss!
- Virginia
12 comments:
It is awkward when you see married friends on dating sites... and you hope it's because they forgot to take it down.
To me, it's the same thing with "youth ministry" ie why is that treated differently. The same with dating sites, how about a social site for any Catholics, not just the dating ones. How about a traddy parish with great beer and active social events with something for everybody.
In India, parents take out classified ads trying to arrange marriages for their children.... just sayin.
Does the Internet attract the crazy?
I think if one uses them well and only uses it as another avenue to encounter good Catholics (as opposed to the end all be all to their spouse search) they could work. I think if Catholics on those sites hold their expectations for someone being compatible until they actually meet the person face to face, it could work fairly well. I'm of the opinion that you couldn't even begin to know if someone was compatible unless you met them in person and are able to observe how they interact in the world you would have to live in as husband and wife, problems and all! The hard part about the dating sites is that people will start off emailing, and then move to chatting, then on to phone conversations, all the while developing an emotional investment without having really "met" the person. This can pose some problems in my mind.
Yes, the internet attracts crazy. It's why I'm here. On online dating... blah.
I wish we had Catholic yentas to match make us up. Hmmmm..... that gives me an idea.
ps... love the ironic 'stache.
I assume you mean my stache! :{)
Catholic yentas could solve all the worlds problems!
Let's face it, we're looking at a bunch of 1010101s. We're all crazy!
The surge of internet users over the past few years has given rise to a new craze that allows singles to meet in an unthreatening virtual place. Online dating gives you access to thousands of potential dates in one easy to use format.
I met my future wife online but not via a dating site. We first met in IRC chat and then became friends in Facebook. She's from the Philippines and I'm from Wisconsin....I never tried online dating over a shorter distance.
I think it's important to decide what qualities you want in a person....what qualities you hope for...what qualities you won't compromise on. Don't aim for a pretty or handsome face. In my case, she has a deep sincere Catholic spirituality that attracted me to her first. That was the main thing on my list of qualities I wouldn't compromise on.
Don't get me wrong though, she is beautiful and kind :) just that looks weren't a deciding factor.
I don't think it's the looks thing that turns me off. I'm actually mulling over a post on dating "pretty" men (and why those who aren't "pretty" are perhaps better for women) but that's another matter. There's something I can't put my finger on, let's face it, people go for the most attractive face first, much like in a bar so...
I love having an online dating with Christian community because they helps make sure your choices are looking for a more serious relationship.
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