From Pro-Life Wisconsin:What would you say, or do, if you found out a friend was pregnant and scheduled for an abortion? Do you know how to articulate your pro-life views?
Below, one young woman reveals how she educated herself on abortion and reached out to a friend in need, with PLW's assistance.
We are pro-life ambassadors in this world, and you never know when you are going to be called to speak up for the preborn.
As told to PLW's Virginia Zignego. We are protecting the name of the mother.
When my friend found out she was pregnant, she immediately started looking into abortions. Her mother had been pressuring her constantly into getting an abortion, saying that having a baby would ruin her life. My friend went to the abortion facility; she told me afterwards that the visit made her a little uneasy. When she had the ultrasound screening, they wouldn’t let her see the screen while it was being done and the cost to have a copy of the ultrasound was a little pricey. She said the abortion would take about 2-3 days, the description of the abortion sounded horrible and disgusting, and the cost would be about $1,000.
When I first heard about my friend’s situation I felt helpless. All my life I have had discussions about abortion and am so passionate about being pro-life. However, I didn’t realize how hard it would be to talk about it with my friend who wanted to get an abortion. I was afraid to push my opinions on her without at least looking at the situation from her perspective. I wasn’t exactly sure how to talk to her without sounding judgmental.
What really helped me was praying about it constantly. I asked a few friends to pray the Rosary with me. After a few days I was able to talk more with her and say what I thought. She listened with an open mind and didn’t get mad at me at all. At first she didn’t fully believe that abortion was killing a human being, but when she went to the abortion clinic she realized that I was telling the truth.
I was scared of losing a good friend by talking to her about her pregnancy and the scheduled abortion, but I had to look at the big picture and realize that it was more important to save an innocent life. No matter what challenges you are faced with, you should remember that God never gives us more than we can’t handle. Sometimes it’s the little things that make a big difference. All I thought I was doing was listening and being there for my friend. I never thought simple actions such as listening and being supportive would end up saving a life.
After a couple weeks of thinking and talking things over with her boyfriend, my friend began to lean more towards adoption but wanted to visit a crisis pregnancy center before making a final decision. She was a little scared to go so I said I would be happy to go with her so she wouldn’t have to be alone.
The most moving part of the visit was the ultrasound screening. She was surprised and happy that she would be allowed to see the image on the screen this time. The moment she saw the baby and heard the heartbeat, her face lit up. She said she couldn’t believe it was actually a baby; the baby had its own heartbeat and could move around. Seeing the baby on the screen confirmed my friend’s decision not to have an abortion. The ultrasound tech asked what she planned to do and she said she hopes to put the baby up for adoption. She was so excited to get a copy of the ultrasound picture and she wouldn’t stop pointing and smiling at the baby.
As far as advice for people who find themselves in a similar situation with someone they know -- One thing that helped me was getting pro-life information. I made sure to be prepared to answer any questions so it doesn’t look like I’m just saying anything and not really knowing what I’m talking about. I’ve had many discussions with various people over the years so I’ve had much information already such as what abortion actually is, costs, the techniques abortion clinics use to persuade women to have abortions, etc.
In the case with my friend, I made sure not to get mad at her and be aware that she may just not know all the information out there. In the past I never fully understood what abortion actually was and I used to be one of those people who believed abortion was wrong unless it was in a case of rape or incest. However, after learning more about abortion through research and other people I began to realize that the ugly truths of abortion. It never fully clicked that abortion is the killing of a human being. So another thing that helped in talking with my friend was to not pass judgment and try to understand where she was coming from because she may not have fully understood what abortion was just as I didn’t in the past.
I’ve seen various YouTube videos about different women’s experiences. Below are three different links of videos that I saw. The most moving videos I saw were ones about women who regret abortion after they realize it was a human being that was killed. Over the past few years I’ve seen various videos about undercover operations at Planned Parenthood, women who regret abortion, and ones about the physical and emotional effects abortion has on women. When I have discussions about abortion with people, it has helped to show them pamphlets, articles, videos, or just tell them about what I already know. I would explain what abortion actually is, the physical and emotional effects abortion has on women, other options available such as adoption, the high cost, the reasons why abortion clinics don’t want to show you ultrasound pictures, etc.
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