Ron Kind and the "cloak of darkness"

Let's have some fun with this, shall we?
Special interest groups already have poured more than $1.2 million in the 3rd Congressional race, an unprecedented level of outside influence in the western Wisconsin district. With less than three weeks until the Nov. 2 election, the National Federation of Independent Business on Wednesday began airing a new television ad through Oct. 22. The nearly $400,000 ad buy in La Crosse and Madison attacks Rep. Ron Kind’s record on spending and support for federal stimulus programs. [Why did he vote for it if he didn't want to defend his decision?]

The conservative 60 Plus Association spent $565,000 in La Crosse and Eau Claire airing ads accusing Kind, D-La Crosse, of ignoring seniors and cutting $500 billion from Medicare. [...sooo senior citizens should not be permitted to place political advertisements?]

Kind criticized the so-called secret money[ITS A CONSPIRACY!] he says conservative special interests[his own interests are not special?] use to spread misleading and false messages. [or maybe the truth hurts]

“They’re operating under the cloak of darkness[ROFL], trying to scare people, without revealing who they are and what they stand for,” he said Thursday. [I will give you three guesses what kinds of "special interests" that 60 Plus Association has...  Oh, look at what I found using that new thing called the "internet" Founded in 1992, the 60 Plus Association is a non-partisan seniors advocacy group with a free enterprise, less government, less taxes approach to seniors issues.  EEEEEEVIL!]

The seven-term[career] Democratic incumbent[politician] faces Independent Mike Krsiean and [evil] Republican state Sen. Dan Kapanke, widely considered the most formidable opponent since Kind first was elected in 1996. [Hence he must be EEEEVIL and assuredly part of the cloak of darkness]

Money flowing into the district is an indication the seat is considered in play, University of Wisconsin-La Crosse political science professor Joe Heim said. [Wait, you better not mean he's not EEEEVIL]

“They don’t put this money into all 435 Congressional races. They put it into the ones that are most likely to turn,” he said. “Republicans need about 40 seats to take over control of the House. Seventy or 80 are perceived to be competitive. This is one of those.”

The Cook Political Report earlier this week moved Kind’s district from likely Democratic to leans Democratic. [Ut Oh.]

It was expected that Sean Duffy[EVIL] and Julie Lassa’s[victim] race for the open 7th District seat and Steven Kagen[v] and Reid Ribble’s[E] for the 8th — a swing district with a Democratic incumbent who’s only served two terms — would be attractive to outside groups, said Barry Burden, a University of Wisconsin-Madison political science professor.

But the 3rd District’s jump onto the national radar is surprising — and the amount of money coming in remarkable, he said. [CONSPIRACY!]

“I think the support from groups like these really indicate the momentum of this campaign,” [Evil] Kapanke said [with a maniacal laugh] “I can’t imagine that they would put their money into this race if they didn’t think they could make a difference.” ["BWAH HA HA"]

It is more a way to build on the momentum [evil] Republicans have nationally than an endorsement of Kapanke’s [evil] strengths, Burden said. [whilst tossing salt over his shoulder]

The money probably comes at the right time for [evil] Kapanke [aka, the wrong time], Heim added. Kind’s cash on hand dwarfs his opponent’s 4 to 1 [...waaaait, I thought Kind was the victim...], but the special-interest money is [unfairly] chipping away at that fundraising edge.

Said Kind, “$1.2 million buys a lot of negative media. [I would know from running them.]  They’re running these negative ads just trying to see what might stick.  [Hopefully it's not the truth] I don’t mind people getting the message out, but it should be truthful.” [Kind then uncrossed his fingers from behind his back]

Of 60 Plus, Kind said, “their whole agenda is to privatize Social Security — they hand off to NFIB, then they hand off to Americans for Prosperity.” ["If you see these old people, send some teenagers dressed in goth over to scare em."]

Kind said he responds by talking up his advocacy for seniors[aka death panels], small businesses[aka wall street & bank/credit card bailout] and trying to shed light on those groups’ corporate agendas[like advocating for seniors over 60, can't get more corporate than that].

Democrats nationwide have been honing their attacks on a U.S. Supreme Court decision that blew the lid off undisclosed special-interest money. [not to mentioned protected free speech.  EVIL!]

These special interests[but not our own, snicker snicker] are going to pervert [(uhh, the word pervert is not politically correct)] the nation’s democracy and leave no fingerprints, [Heroic] Democratic Party of Wisconsin Communications Director Graeme [the Virtuous] Zielinski said.

[Evil] Groups like the NFIB, 60 Plus Conservatives, and Americans For Prosperity represent people all across the country that are concerned about the direction this country is headed,” [Darth] Kapanke’s campaign countered. “... These groups provide a way for regular [evil] people to band together and exercise their First Amendment right to free speech. [Devil Talk]

La Crosse Tribune

Let's get out there and exercise our right to free Devil Talk! 

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