Shop til ya drop - parish shopping

My wife and I have been parishioners at the Cathedral in La Crosse since before we were married.  They have a fantastic music program, and overall a solid liturgy, but we are looking for a new parish.  Don't get me wrong, there are some great people at Cathedral, it was a family there we became friends with that first got us interested in homeschooling.  There just aren't going to be any big traditional leaps happening and we felt called to move to a smaller parish.  So we began the process we've all come to enjoy; parish shopping.

I think The American Catholic says it well:

Some of the things [the shopper] looks for are an orthodox priest faithful to the Magisterium, a beautiful Church, and a liturgy that aspires to beauty and lacks some of the folksy elements of post-Vatican II as well as the more scandalous aspects of the “spirit of Vatican II” like liturgical dancers.

That sums it up pretty well but I thought I would expand on it a bit for my own sake. 

1.  Music

No drum set.  Check.  No guitars.  Check.  No pianos.  Check.  We're already half way there.  Choir in choir loft or rear of church?  Check.  Now that it is possible to actually survive a Sunday liturgy, let's talk about the specifics.  I cannot recommend enough how important the book Why Catholics Can't Sing makes the whole concept of congregational singing apparent even to uneducated folk like me.  The goal as a parish should be to sing the proper chants of the Mass in Latin.  If there's no plan in place that chant be "given pride of place" in the liturgy, I'm not interested.  There is certainly a place for well selected hymns in this mix, but when hymns replace the words of the liturgy itself, things are headed in the wrong direction.

2. Black & Red

Do you say the black and to the red?  If you are interjecting your personality or politics into the Mass, I'm pushing eject.  Here's a true story.  After the big priest shift in the Diocese of La Crosse, we started attending different Masses in the area.  The most beautiful parish church in La Crosse is Holy Trinity.  We went to one Mass and it didn't take long to find out what the new priest was like.  During Mass he changed the words of the Creed from "born of the Virgin Mary and became man" to "born of the Virgin Mary and became human."  Almost walked out.  It's like being scammed by a bait and switch.  One quick way to lose any interest in joining your parish.

3. Beauty

Is your church a circle?  If it is, why haven't you fixed it yet?  If I want to waste my time walking in spiritual circles instead of pushing onward to the heavenly beatitude, I'll start smoking hash and rubbing Budda's belly.  We all know how hard it can be to find a church that has not been destroyed by a "worship committee."  Basically you have the beautiful, wreckovated, and repaired wreckovation.  A rule of thumb is to steer away from anything built within the last 40 years(there are exceptions of course).  We are looking for something sacred, something our ancestors would be proud of.

4. Extraordinary

Ideally for any parish, especially in a city, should have both the ordinary and the extraordinary form of the Roman Rite.  St. Agnes in St. Paul comes to mind.  Whether once a month or just on special occasions, or just knowing that the parish is open to the idea if enough people are interested is extremely important.  As Pope Benedict stated so well, the ordinary and the extraordinary forms should provide "mutual enrichment."  There are many options here to help make it accessible to the newbie, if the parish is willing.  Completely opposed?  Funny, my sentiments exactly on joining your parish. 

5. Parish life

Several other factors come into play.  Is there a school, and is it any good?  If not, is there a homeschooling group?  Location matters too, but you will find that we are willing to travel great distances for what we are looking for.  Are there babies crying during Mass?  If not, that's a very bad sign.  Does the parish have a focus on projects, like the missions, etc., so that parishioners are enabled to perform corporal works of mercy(something other than scheduled diocesan second collections)?  Community is important, but unlike in a liberal parish where it is the end unto itself, it should exist to support the growth in holiness, proper worship of God, and promotion of traditional Catholic devotions.

Alright, that got long.  In Part II of this series I'll look at some specific examples.