Green Bay Diocesan workshop helps priests counsel those touched by abortion

GREEN BAY, Wis. (CNS) -- The role priests play in counseling people touched by abortion is critical, yet they often do not know what to say or do, Green Bay Bishop David L. Ricken said at a workshop for priests to help them learn about post-abortion healing.

He recalled an event that put the abortion topic in a new and disquieting light.

At a recent diocesan youth retreat, a 15-year-old girl was found crying before a crucifix. "One of the youth ministers went up to her and said, 'Can I help you?' and what came out was that this 15-year-old girl has already had three abortions," said Bishop Ricken.

"So brothers, this is getting to be a very serious societal problem among Catholics," he said. "I would say we are (needed) now more than we've ever been as far as our catechesis, our pastoral preaching and reaching out because there are so many broken families."

He made the comments in an opening talk at the recent in-service session, sponsored by the diocesan Respect Life Office. The event, which drew some 65 priests, focused on the ministry of Project Rachel, a post-abortion ministry founded in Milwaukee in 1984.

Vicki Thorn, founder of Project Rachel and executive director of the National Office of Post-Abortion Reconciliation and Healing, was on hand to help the priests recognize some of the signs that accompany post-abortion trauma and discuss how to help grieving people.

"I don't know about you, but when I've heard confessions and it involves abortion," Bishop Ricken told the priests, "sometimes I feel helpless, not knowing what to do, what to say," he said.

Thorn told the priests that "from the beginning priests were at the core of this ministry. What you do, what you say, your presence is so important to the walking wounded that you encounter -- and they are everywhere."

She said that while some 50 million abortions take place each year in the United States, it is difficult to know exactly how many people have been touched by them.

"Why do I say we don't know? Because abortion didn't start with Roe v. Wade," Thorn said about the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion virtually on demand. "It's been forever a human problem. So we need to know there are old women in our congregations and in our nursing homes who have had abortions."

Thorn then offered the priests practical advice.

"If you get a call from the nursing home or the hospital that Mrs. So-and-So should have died yesterday but she's so agitated, get your stole and get to the hospital and say to her there's nothing that God can't forgive. And then name a couple of the favorite sins of your parish and put abortion in there. You'll see her eyes fill with tears," she said.

Older women did not have counseling or support after abortions, Thorn continued. "They went to confession many times, but in death there's a series of questions they need answered and you can be the person" to answer them.

Thorn reminded the priests that abortion touches everyone and she shared personal experiences of friends and relatives who had abortions.

She talked extensively about the impact of abortion on women's health, including an increased risk of being diagnosed with cancer.

"We live in a society that says (having an abortion is) just like an appendectomy or having your tonsils out," she said. "No it's not, because you're forever carrying this biological memory in your body. Furthermore, you started a pregnancy and you didn't finish it. That has implications.

"Our first pregnancy as women is very important to changes in our body," she said. "It's critical. So there are lots of things that happen here in terms of this abortion loss."

Thorn also cited research by a cancer specialist in Seattle who discovered that girls under 18 who have abortions, and who have a history of breast cancer in their immediate families, increased their risk of breast cancer by 100 percent.

Thorn told the priests that she understood the challenges they face talking about abortion.

"I know that when it comes to pro-life stuff, you can't do anything right," she said. "Because whatever you say, someone's going to be unhappy with you. It's either too much or not enough."

She called abortion a "heart debate (because) people are so impassioned" about the issue.

Thorn told the priests that when an angry parishioner confronts them at church, "don't argue with them because nobody's ever been argued into the pro-life movement. Simply say to them, 'Why don't you share with me why you feel so strongly about this. I'd like to understand.'

"Shut up and just let them talk," she continued. "When they are done, thank them. If you can, lay your hand on their arm. Gentlemen, 20 seconds of touch is powerful healing in people. It sets off that chemistry of connection."

By following these steps, she told the priests, "You broke a stereotype because they were convinced you were going to yell at them and argue with them. You listened to them; you heard them, which is different than just listening. Now all of that toxicity that was sitting in their gut is gone. And pretty soon you might find them in your office."

CNS